Week 8 kicked off with Ash Wednesday so it's a two-day no meat week around here. But it's okay because I love fish and there are so many options. I'll share my low fat lenten meals throughout the next 40 days as we head towards Easter. If you don't celebrate Lent or the Easter season, I know you're probably still tempted by all the chocolate that is out there. This will be a huge challenge for me so I'm trying to prepare myself. Let's do this!

Day 50: From Fat Tuesday to Ash Wednesday! My most difficult meal during the no meat days is breakfast because I usually have meat protein for breakfast. But no worries, I can still have eggs. I've been eating a lot of spring mix and spinach salads lately for lunch. Today, I had it for dinner with some deliciously seasoned salmon on top. Quick and easy. I usually make a lot of salmon and freeze it in single serve portions for work lunch or quick dinners. Give it a try if you haven't already. It's filling. My meal has to be filling. I love to eat, I'm not trying to be a martyr. If I'm hungry, I'm not at my finest, you know what I'm saying? You do, I can feel it...

Day 51: Today we celebrated Mr. J's 41st birthday. It's hard to imagine a year has gone by since I planned his surprise 40th birthday party. I find that at this stage of my life, time is flying faster than ever. I want to know why this is. Is it just perception or is it something else, something more unexplainable? Either way, the man I met when he was 20 is now 41. Capped with silver hairs and some wrinkles that frame his eyes and mouth, he makes us smile each and every day. We both do so much to celebrate our girls over anything else we ever do for ourselves. So, it's nice when our daughters get excited to celebrate us too. They were more excited to get their dad a cake and candles and presents than he was for sure. But what Dad wouldn't enjoy being serenaded by his four sweet daughters? Happy birthday babe, we have a lot more celebrations ahead before we both reach 100...

Day 52: Today kicks off a long 3 days ahead with our gym hosting its annual gymnastics competition. Olivia got her meet out of the way on the first night. I'm so proud of this girl! She earned her highest all around school of the season and a personal best on vault and beam. Here she waits with her teammates for the last event of the night - beam. All of the girls performed beautifully and were the last team to finish for the night. They got to walk off their home field with their heads help high! I love this moment of focus and peace...I have to get a shout out to the women of our booster club board of which I'm a trustee. This is a high energy group of powerhouse women! I'm happy to have been a part. It's wonderful what can get accomplished when a group of people get together for a common goal. Thanks to all the Moms and Dads of our gymnasts that took so much time out of their weekend to volunteer and make all of this happen. 

Day 53: After spend 13 hours volunteering at the gymnastics competition, I come home to countertop clutter. A couple of months ago, I put this basket on the counter and labeled it "Devices Here" in a far-reached attempt to control the technological chaos that is my kitchen. How is that working for us? Well, you see that the devices are everywhere but the basket. Epic fail. They threw in the poor penguin with his one eye chewed off for good measure, just to make sure I lost it upon arrival. Here we had success. I know I shouldn't sweat the small stuff, but countertop clutter is in a category of its own. I will win this battle one day, even if it does take me to my 100th birthday...

Day 54: When I look at her, deeply and with wonder (as long as I can before she gets upset with me), I can sort of see the same little face she had when she was a baby. At least I think I can, because I can't really remember all that well. This summer, she is going to turn 12. Why can't I remember the small details of what our days were like back then, when it was just the three of us? It didn't last long this sweet phase of our family. Within a short year and a half there were two more baby girls in our tribe. After determining that wasn't enough for our own basketball team we added a fourth daughter two years after the twins were born. She doesn't remember when she was the only one. All I know is that before her there was an aching emptiness that could only be occupied by her. Everything about her is changing. Everything about me is clinging. I'm doing the best that I can, but I'm not sure I'm any good at this. I don't want to fail her. But I'm learning on her. I always learned on her. I wonder if she feels like she never got the best of me? The internet is infested with "mommy blogs" and the amount of information about parenting a baby or a toddler is plentiful, much more so than when my first baby was born almost 12 years ago. I would have been all over that! Now, I feel like I'm a part of this underground, secret society of mothers of preteen and adolescent children where we quietly compare notes on what is normal behavior and development and when we should worry. Clearly I knew this day would come, where I would no longer be viewed as the most knowing, loving, and comforting person in her eyes. Obviously when I signed up for this, I knew she would grow up eventually, one day, if we were lucky. When she was a baby, I remember rocking her to sleep in her nursery and thinking in my head "thank goodness there's still so many little years ahead" or "middle school is so far away." What I didn't know is how quickly it would all go and how this huge my fall from grace would be. I'm slowly becoming less knowing, less comforting in her eyes and more annoying and frustrating. I yearn for the few and far between "you're the best mom" comments from her. I'm quietly trying to figure out how to bottle up my 7-year-old, the one who keeps my pedestal clean and free from dust. I am now the mother of a soon-to-be teenager and I have so much to learn. What I do know is that my love for her is fierce, it is unique, and it is forever.  

Day 55: Whew! The 3-day long gymnastics meet has come to a close and I since I didn't bring my camera with me because I didn't have a babysitter for it (I'm dead serious), I didn't think I would have anything to shoot today after another 12-hour day. When I get home super late and driving in horrible weather, I still had a ton of energy (I'm not human sometimes). What to do? Clean of course! As I was clearing off a table in the living room, I found this Valentine's Day letter written to our family from our youngest, Emi. Our fourth daughter, sweet as can be, is always trying to get her voice heard. During our drives in the car, at meals, cuddling during family movie nights, she is always trying to break through to get her turn to speak. "You guys, you guys" she repeats until we all stop and give her the podium. She says it in this sweet little voice that is loaded with respect for us, not wanting to interrupt, but itching to say what's on her mind. The thing is, we all adore her. Every single one of us. She holds the coveted role of "the baby" in the household, but somehow she is always babying us. She takes care of us, she helps everyone, she is tune to our feelings. So, the "Dear You Guys" melted my post-Valentine's Day heart. We hear you my sweet love, and we're listening...

Day 56: If I've said it once, I've said a thousand times. EVERYONE should have a set of twins. My twins are total opposites, but totally complementary. They are as close as humanly possible. They sleep together, they hang out together, they help each other. My attitude from the get go with the twins was that I would keep them together because I wanted them to remain close, I wanted to nurture that bond. Clearly, they are not the same person and were not in danger of melding into one. I did get some criticism for this, mainly from know-it-alls and judgers. Whatever, I didn't pay them no mind. Good call, giving myself a pat on the back as I speak (type), and paying no attention to the other decisions I have made as a parent that haven't been as successful. You can't win 'em all! This moment was one in which I was grateful that I've been keeping my camera around in in the house, because I quickly grabbed and snapped. When you forget something in the other room, the best way to get there is to get carried around by your twin sister. And the little dog, too...